While I was doing that last post, I saw that there is a tab I have never noticed before. I was viewing the “best” movies, but there’s a button for “worst.” This has got to be interesting.

What are the alleged worst movies that I have both seen and not seen?

These are the one’s I haven’t seen.

10. Steel

9.Basic Instinct 2

8. The Lawnmower Man 2

7. House of the Dead

6. The Love Guru

5. The Man

4. Bratz

3. Hollywood After Dark (I’ve never heard of this)

2. Battlefield Earth

1. The Hottie and the Nottie

 

That’s a pretty rough list. I can’t say I have any desire to see any of those, but Battlefield Earth has got to be a mesmerizing train wreck.

I couldn’t comment on any of those really, since I haven’t seen them. But what about the ones I HAVE seen? This is gonna be awesome.

10. Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever. This movie gets a lot of shit, and while my 18 year old self does not remember loving it at all, I don’t recall it being the absolute train wreck that everyone calls it. But it is one of the stupidest titles ever.

9. Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot. Okay, I take it back. That is the worst title ever. I saw this in the theater as an 8 year old and never have to see it again. That says something.

8. Mr. Wrong. When you’re 12, every movie is supposed to be awesome. Not so much with this. I almost walked out. But I would have been stranded, as my mom still had to come pick me up.

7. BloodRayne. One of two Uwe Boll movies on this list (he also did House of the Dead above), it is magically horrible. Vampires and Nazis. Just not good.

6. Speed 2: Cruise Control. Wait. It’s a boat that can’t stop moving? But it’s not moving that fast, right? Once again — 13 years old, and one and done. No need to sit through this one again. Life is too short.

5. Alone in the Dark. Uwe Boll part 2. This is one of the most amazing exercises in ineptitude I have ever seen. Think Denise Richards as a nuclear physicist in The World is Not Enough was bad? Try Tara Reid as a scientist. Nuff said.

4. Son of the Mask. I actually enjoyed this one, kinda. Alan Cumming as Loki is a hoot. But Jim Carrey is 3 for 3 on ditching sequels to his movies (see Evan Almighty and Dumb and Dumberer).

3. Date Movie. I don’t even count this as a movie. It’s just not fair to the other shitty movies vying for spots.

2. Catwoman. Yep, it’s bad. Like really bad.

1. Gigli. Here’s the twist ending, folks. I loved this movie. I thought it was funny, I thought it had some great character development in Jennifer Lopez, and Christopher Walken and Al Pacino both show up. It has issues, sure, but it is one of the most unfairly maligned movies in history. Though that’s my 19-year-old self defending it. I should watch it again. I really have nothing to lose, other than an unpopular opinion.

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